So the last while I've been pretty stressed and overwhelmed with certain things...and since the new year came...I've been thinking about what I can do to relax...calm down...get over stuff...and move on. I've talked through some issues and problems that were stressing me out...and trying to overcome even more of the things now. I want things to get better in all my relationships. With the depression issues, I take a LOT out on Ryan...I'm harsh, rude, mean, irritated, and upset a lot of the time. I need to change that. I'm working on it...I have relationships with family members that NEED improving...but how??? I need to do what is right for ME and my family...but I also want those relatives and family members to know that I still love them and think about them a LOT. I have friends that I see a LOT....and friends that I want to see more...so I need to improve on that as well. Make more time for the people who encourage me, really care, and make me feel good about myself. So working on that as well.
Now for a struggle I've been having this week...that I'm trying to just get over, but it's still hard. Since starting this blog...I have had AMAZING support...advice...comments...and encouragement. I LOVE it...and I wouldn't trade it for anything...BUT...I'm struggling with part of it. And I don't want people to feel unappreciated who are helping me...cuz that's in no way the case...and at the same time I don't want to make the others feel pressured into helping if they don't want to. So anyways...I'm feeling a little down about it all, because out of the 5 posts or whatever that I've done...the links on my facebook...all the ways I've been sharing my changes...I've only received 2...ya TWO comments on all of it from family members. Out of all the people in my family and Ryan's family online...why am I not getting encouraging comments!?!?! I don't know...maybe they're busy?? Maybe they're not interested?? Maybe they haven't read it at all yet?? Maybe they don't know what to say?!?! I don't know...I just have wondered why...and been bothered by it.
Anyways...now that I've voiced that issue...I'm over it...I just can't hold things in anymore, because it's not healthy for me. So that is something I will be working on in this journey as well.
Ok...sorry if this hurt anyone...or made people upset...didn't mean it...and if anyone was hurt by my last post about only mentioning ONE friend...I'm sorry...I didn't think about that...so sorry about that.
I'm off to finish a yummy smoothie Ryan made for us now!! Gotta get used to having them without the ice cream...:) :) :)
4 comments:
I think it is great that you have a place where you can say things without having to say them straight to someone. I hope this reaches the right people and you get the support you need. I hope you know that I value your friendship like a sister, and I hope I am as much support to you as you are to me, cuz I couldn't get through a lot without having someone to turn to and usually that someone is you and just a few other people. Hang in there, you're doing great and the people you love should be proud of you, and I'm sure they are!!
Thank you Becki, I just read the other two posts I missed- sorry I hadn't checked it. I am so impressed with you and your determination! You are amazing!I know that you can do it and I am glad to be able to call you a friend. Love ya!
It's SO hard when support doesn't come from people we expect it from. I like that you don't want to hold things in anymore--it'll help!!
Even if they don't leave a comment, it doesn't mean they don't care about you and what you're doing. Some people have a hard time verbalizing love (or writing it). Some people don't know what to say, so they say nothing. I feel the same way when I post a really cute, or really emotion-filled post on my blog and no one comments. But do not take it to mean they don't care.
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