Thoughts...

Well it's been an interesting week...that's for sure!!! Just to start off...depression and negative thoughts SUCK. They just seem to overtake me and I can't get out of the slump. That's how this last week has been...I'm doing better today...compared to LAST Friday, but still not 100% yet.

Amongst feeling blah and not liking myself...I wanted to start exercising and eating better this week...well I let me negativity get the best of me and I give in to that instead. I have NO motivation or ambition to do anything. It's too hot, it's too early, it's too exhausting, it's too HARD, it's too much WORK...and it's just excuse after excuse. I've been here before...and I can feel myself getting more and more upset at my dumb choices. Because I have experienced and seen how exercise, eating better, and being healthy has REALLY helped me and made me happier. I was so down that I didn't even go to Zumba on Tuesday...because again I gave in to my negativity. DUMB!!

Well I found out Monday that I have to have some pretty big dental stuff done...and that just frustrates me too, because it's things I could've prevented...but didn't. And now Ryan has to remind me that we/I can't dwell on the past...but it's hard not to. So frustrated with the expense it'll be, the damage it's caused, and the poor example I am to my kids. UGH...anyways. After realizing that I would be having that all done this coming MONDAY...and that I wouldn't be able to go to Zumba next week because of that...I KNEW I had to buck up and get there Thursday...

Well I had a eye opening experience on Thursday...realizing that our Heavenly Father is truly in our lives and is aware of us...even when we don't think we deserve it. There were numerous "tender mercies" that happened yesterday that I needed. It really helped me to realize that I CAN do this...I CAN do better...and I CAN overcome this trial. My zumba instructor posted a link to another ladies blog...

http://www.daringyoungmom.com/2012/12/19/drops-of-awesome/

And it was exactly what I needed to read...I encourage you to read it also!!! It's uplifting and a good reminder that even the smallest things we do are GREAT to others and can really mean a lot.

Sooooo....now I guess I'm rambling...but what I'm trying to say and get across is that even in our hardest, darkest, most frustrating times...we are NOT alone. Even if we don't feel anything around us...if spouses, kids, family, friends, WHOEVER isn't reaching out how you wish they would...you are NOT alone...and Heavenly Father is ALWAYS, ALWAYS aware of what you're doing and how you're feeling. I really struggled with allowing Him to help me this week and reaching out to Him...until last night...and when I finally prayed...I cried and cried...He will not leave us alone. And what a blessing that is to know...he's just waiting for us!!! I LOVE that!!!

Trials suck...challenges are hard...people in our lives don't always uplift us and help us...sometimes they bring us down, and we need to realize the ones who may not be helping us.

Wow...I hope this made SOME sense!?!?! Yikes... :) Until next time!!!