Discouraging...OR...Motivating????

So I wrote up this WHOLE post last night because I couldn't sleep...and my mind was racing...and it was like 1 in the morning...then I go to post it and my stupid iPhone closed out and I lost the whole thing...I was so bugged...and thought maybe it was a sign or something!?!?! Who knows???

Anyways...I had lots on my mind...and I had to put it somewhere...so why not here huh!!! :) Here goes...


I did LOTS of exercising yesterday...and was really quite proud of myself!!! I brought Klous to school yesterday morning...and then headed straight for the Rec center with the other two...we went down to the track, where we walked 5 laps and ran 4!!! I was thrilled!!! Completely sweaty, tired, jello legs, and shaky....BUT I did it!!! Then last night...I went back to the Rec at 8 for my usual Zumba class...where I could only stay for 45 minutes, because then I had to leave to go TEACH a Zumba class at 9....so all in all I got 1 hour and 45 minutes in of Zumba last night...again...very impressed with being able to last...and actually finishing it!!!


Now...here's where the thoughts come in...I got home and started stretching and trying to cool down!!! And I remembered that for this exercise program I got from Eric...(which I'll post more about later today)...that I will be starting on Monday for sure...it said to take pictures and measurements of myself BEFORE I start it. I've done measurements before...and whatever :) I've done pictures...but NOT the pictures they were wanting me to take. You know...the REAL pictures that truly show your body....you know which ones...the sports bra/shorts ones...the ones they start with on Biggest Loser...YA...those pictures!!!


Well...I got the camera and had Ryan take the pictures...DON'T WORRY...I am NOT posting them on here...they will only make you nauseous and grossed out. :( 
SO here I have these pictures...which are on the camera and going to be on the computer...so that I HAVE them...they are SICK. :( I can't believe how I've let myself go...YUCK...such a blow to actually see...

Then before I got in the shower...I figured what the heck...I'll just do my measurements while I'm at it...well...those were just as gross. The book that came with this program...has a chart to enter all your starting info...and it shows you where you should actually be measuring for your waist, chest, hips, and so on....
I did it...and the numbers I had to write down are another blow...so gross and unhealthy...YUCK


So here's where my thoughts come...do I take this info and REALITY and become discouraged??? Do I say, WHAT'S the point...and give up because I've already let myself go and get so gross?? Do I get discouraged and QUIT!?!?!

OR.....do I use those GROSS pictures and measurements as MOTIVATION and say and realize...I'm the ONLY one who can change...I am NOT happy with myself right now...I am NOT confident and proud of where I am...I am NOT going to stay like this...I WILL make changes and improve for the better...I WILL do it...I CAN do it...I CAN look better...be skinnier...healthier...and most of all HAPPIER????


I think I'll take the motivating trail...and DO it...I need to for myself...for my self-esteem...for my husband...for my kids...for my health...for my HAPPINESS.


I WILL do it...I WILL change...I WILL improve...


I will...DECIDE...COMMIT...AND SUCCEED :)


....stay tuned for those pictures eventually...MAYBE when I've taken new ones and can prove that I DID do it...

Thoughts...

So the other night was kinda crappy...and let's be honest...I did it to myself!!! I've noticed this weekend that my body is getting used to having LESS sweets or junk!!! Because yesterday was Ryan's birthday...so we went on a date and went to Red Robin...I got my usual Teryaki Chicken Sandwich and fries...I ate the sandwich...which maybe it wasn't the BEST thing to choose...but it tasted yummy ;) But the fries...UGH...they were just TOO MUCH on my gut. I was so full after not very long...Ryan was better and got a salad...but I was so full and ready to be done before he was even half-way through his salad. So!?!?! Maybe my body is getting used to eating less often...less JUNK...and smaller portions!?!?! A good thing right???

Also...we've been trying to figure out a couple options for making more money...so we've talked about a me teaching Zumba and getting a studio!?!?! A friend of mine is teaching in Lindon and said they have a Monday night position open...but I don't know how convenient of a location it is...or how it would work!?!?! I'm nervous about starting up and not having people show up!?!?! I just have a lot of doubts and fears...but Ryan keeps telling me, I'll never know until I try it and see what happens. SO.....any of you know of any karate studios, dance studios, or something like that....that I would be able to rent out in the evening sometime and do a Zumba class!?!?! Who would be interested in coming!?!?! I'd prefer a place that's in Orem/Provo...because then it's closer to the people I've taught before and people who I'm friends with...I don't know. I have too many doubts and I think I just need to GO FOR IT!!!

So I am trying to work on this...trying to figure things out...and hoping results will come SOON!!! I know not as soon as I'd like...and it'll take time...but small changes daily will make them come right!!! Thanks to all who look at this and read it...even if you don't always leave a comment...any advice, support, or help is WONDERFUL!!!

Weak...and don't have will power :(

So tonight...home as a family...watching a movie...I've got LOTS on my mind and what do I do??? Go to the CRAP in the house and eat...and munch...and eat some more...YUCK. I feel awful now...I'm upset with myself for not being stronger...and I'm just bugged. I know this will be a challenge and something I will have to adjust to...but gosh. I guess it's time to go through things and get rid of GARBAGE food??? But honestly I hate doing that because we're dirt poor and throwing away things that are still ok to eat just makes me more bugged?!?! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...what do I do??? What snacks do you guys get that are better for you??? How do you afford to eat healthier??? I just need to go to bed so I stop thinking about it all??? Tomorrow will be FULL of work-outs to help me feel better?!?!

MY goals!!! The SIGNED goal sheet to prove it!!!

Ok...so my trainer friend Eric sent me this GOAL contract...and told me to fill it out. I FINALLY finished it!!! And emailed it to him...posted it on facebook...and am now posting it on here!!! I NEED people to know...I NEED to be accountable...and I NEED to have them written down and where I'll see them!!! So here goes...it was REALLY hard for me to think of goals...weird!?!? I don't know...maybe I was just thinking TOO into it...but I couldn't come up with anything. I wrote to Eric and his wife to ask for help...and they are just SO smart!!! His wife told me to NOT over think it...to just close my eyes and think of where I want to be at those certain times...so I did it!! And it worked!!! 

So this is what it says...and THESE are my goals!!!

Name: Becki Jones

My "WHY": I need ME to be happy, to better improve MY life, MY husband's life, and MY kids' lives!!!  Happy Mommy, Happy family!!!

30 day goal:  Be completely OFF pop
60 day goal:  Complete AND keep going with Slim in 6 (exercise plan)
90 day goal:  RUN a 5K
6 month goal:  Feel excited AND comfortable in my swimsuit at the waterpark with the kids (7-Peaks)
12 Month Goal:  Be in better shape & be healthier to add another baby to our family!!!

And then the contract part and MY signature!! I WILL do this...I WILL accomplish what I want...I know I'll have hard days...I know I'll want to quit...I know it won't ALWAYS be easy...BUT...I know that people who care about me are there to help...I know that I CAN be happier, healthier, and do better!!! I WILL, I CAN, I COMMIT!!!!

So incredibly SORE!!!

Ok...so I woke up this morning to shut off my alarm...rolled out of bed and OUCH...my legs, thighs, butt, back, arms shoulders...EVERYTHING was sore!!! Obviously the workout from Jillian was a killer...and did SOMETHING!!! Probably didn't help that I went a little overboard with everything else too...BUT...it's a good sore!! I'll take this over being hurt or sore from walking up stairs that I should be able to do no problem!!! Needless to say...I laid in bed for a minute to wake up...and ended up falling back asleep :( Boo...so I didn't get up to do the DVD this morning...TOMORROW for sure!!! But I did make it to the rec to speed walk a little after dropping Klous off at school!!! Only 4-5 laps of walking...BUT it was something!!! And I've got Zumba tonight...so WOOHOO!!! Hooray for a fun FUN journey!!!

GREAT workout day!!!

Well it's doing something!!! Kicking my butt is what it's doing!!! This new exercise plan and routine is KICKING MY BUTT!!!
I got up yesterday morning and did a new Jillian Michaels DVD I got at Wal-Mart. I didn't think it would be THAT hard...but boy was I WRONG!!! By the end of only a TWENTY minute workout...my legs were shaking!!! She definitely knows how to work you!!! Even in a short amount of time!!! So I did that...chugged lots of water...and was ready for the day!!! 
Kids got up...and I was gung-ho to get going and do something with them!!! I decided I'd just take them with me to the rec center (Orem Fitness Center) in the mornings...we'd run/walk the track and they could ride in the stroller or join me in walking if there weren't too many people. I've recruited a couple friends who have come along...and it's been fun!! I think at least!!!
Well finally about 9:20 I was ready to GO!!! Kids were dressed...eating a pop-tart for breakfast and ready to go as well!!! We went to the Rec...got the jogging stroller out...and headed into the track!!! Kyson & Aysha rode in the stroller the whole time...and Klous walked the first lap with me and ran the 2nd with me...then he got in the stroller as well!! Yes...5 yr old - 35-40 lbs, 3 yr old - 28 lbs, 2 yr old - 30 lbs AND the jogging stroller all being pushed by ME!!! It was a GREAT work-out!!! I would walk a lap then run a lap...and I was SOOO impressed with myself!!! I did a total of 6 walking laps...and 4 running!!! It felt GREAT!!!
Then we came home...got showered and hung out around home!!! We got some "new to us" couches off KSL so Klous & I moved ALL the furniture from the living room to the family room...and then the couches from the family room to the living room!! I was sweating AGAIN!!! 
GREAT day!! GREAT energy!! GREAT workouts!!! I even had energy and ambition to make a HEALTHY meal!!! Chicken/Carrots/Celery stir fry with bean sprouts over chow mein noodles!!! AWESOME!!!! 
I'm excited for these changes and the energy it'll be giving me!!! YAY!!!

THIS is the DVD I got and did yesterday!!! I highly suggest and would recommend it to others...I've heard GREAT things about it...and I know Jillian knows what she's talking about!!! KICKED MY BUTT!!!

Seriously starting....again :)

Alrighty people...I am serious about this again...and this time I will NOT stop until it's complete. 
I have to do something. I am unhappy...I don't like looking at myself in the mirror...I hate feeling out of breath ALL the time after simple tasks...and I just want/need to make changes. So here goes...I know I started this last year at this time...and I did SOOO good for a while...then summer came and I stopped. This time it won't be like that. I am making a LIFE change now. Not just a temporary change. I was so happy and excited with the progress I was seeing last year...and now I'm right back to where I started. I mean I guess it's good I'm not BIGGER or anything then last year...but I'm definitely not smaller either :(
So with my AMAZING hubby that I have...that will support, help, and do whatever he can to help me....and with a GREAT friend back in Wisconsin, who is also a personal trainer...I have kind of figured out a schedule I'll be doing and tracking my food intake for the last 2 weeks (which has been TERRIBLE)...but I am doing it...and I AM making changes.
So...here's what I'm doing...today I am working on my "Goals Sheet" from Eric...and when I figure it out...I will be posting it here...and I want help and for people to know what my goals are so you can ask how I'm doing...so you can keep me accountable...and keep me going!!! 
I will be posting probably close to daily on here, so that I can track for myself how I'm feeling and what I'm doing...so down the road I can look back and read it all over again and see how far I've gotten!!! 
Here's to a new day, a new week, a new month, a new year, and a NEW BECKI!!!!