So I wrote up this WHOLE post last night because I couldn't sleep...and my mind was racing...and it was like 1 in the morning...then I go to post it and my stupid iPhone closed out and I lost the whole thing...I was so bugged...and thought maybe it was a sign or something!?!?! Who knows???
Anyways...I had lots on my mind...and I had to put it somewhere...so why not here huh!!! :) Here goes...
I did LOTS of exercising yesterday...and was really quite proud of myself!!! I brought Klous to school yesterday morning...and then headed straight for the Rec center with the other two...we went down to the track, where we walked 5 laps and ran 4!!! I was thrilled!!! Completely sweaty, tired, jello legs, and shaky....BUT I did it!!! Then last night...I went back to the Rec at 8 for my usual Zumba class...where I could only stay for 45 minutes, because then I had to leave to go TEACH a Zumba class at 9....so all in all I got 1 hour and 45 minutes in of Zumba last night...again...very impressed with being able to last...and actually finishing it!!!
Now...here's where the thoughts come in...I got home and started stretching and trying to cool down!!! And I remembered that for this exercise program I got from Eric...(which I'll post more about later today)...that I will be starting on Monday for sure...it said to take pictures and measurements of myself BEFORE I start it. I've done measurements before...and whatever :) I've done pictures...but NOT the pictures they were wanting me to take. You know...the REAL pictures that truly show your body....you know which ones...the sports bra/shorts ones...the ones they start with on Biggest Loser...YA...those pictures!!!
Well...I got the camera and had Ryan take the pictures...DON'T WORRY...I am NOT posting them on here...they will only make you nauseous and grossed out. :(
SO here I have these pictures...which are on the camera and going to be on the computer...so that I HAVE them...they are SICK. :( I can't believe how I've let myself go...YUCK...such a blow to actually see...
Then before I got in the shower...I figured what the heck...I'll just do my measurements while I'm at it...well...those were just as gross. The book that came with this program...has a chart to enter all your starting info...and it shows you where you should actually be measuring for your waist, chest, hips, and so on....
I did it...and the numbers I had to write down are another blow...so gross and unhealthy...YUCK
So here's where my thoughts come...do I take this info and REALITY and become discouraged??? Do I say, WHAT'S the point...and give up because I've already let myself go and get so gross?? Do I get discouraged and QUIT!?!?!
OR.....do I use those GROSS pictures and measurements as MOTIVATION and say and realize...I'm the ONLY one who can change...I am NOT happy with myself right now...I am NOT confident and proud of where I am...I am NOT going to stay like this...I WILL make changes and improve for the better...I WILL do it...I CAN do it...I CAN look better...be skinnier...healthier...and most of all HAPPIER????
I think I'll take the motivating trail...and DO it...I need to for myself...for my self-esteem...for my husband...for my kids...for my health...for my HAPPINESS.
I WILL do it...I WILL change...I WILL improve...
I will...DECIDE...COMMIT...AND SUCCEED :)
....stay tuned for those pictures eventually...MAYBE when I've taken new ones and can prove that I DID do it...
3 comments:
You are so smart. I think I'm gonna quote you.
good for you becki!! You motivated me to stay on the right track too :)
When my parents got married my dad could put his hands around her waist and touch fingers. She was really skinny and when she passed away she was definitely not the same. She was not huge but she was still very over weight. She also had 11 children. When I was younger, she use to point out people at the public swimming pools and ask me if she was as fat as that person. I know she was so self conscious of her weight. But that is when I realized how much she loved me. Even though she hated her body, she was still willing to give up her small figure in order to have me. I was #10. I am so grateful to her for giving that up for me. Weight doesn't make you the person you are. Just remember that no matter how many pounds you lose or don't lose, you are still you and you are pretty awesome.
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