How can I go from such a high on Tuesday of my weigh-in/results...to now where I'm so low...wanna give up...wanna quit...UGH...
It's SO frustrating....
I've had a tough couple days...haven't eaten like I should...Valentine's day candy laying around...one chocolate here or there won't hurt...RIGHT!?!?! NOT...cuz I'm losing the motivation or desire to only eat ONE...one isn't a problem...it's the next one and the next and so on...I'm not doing TERRIBLE...but I know I shouldn't have them. So!?!?!? Yesterday I had to beat myself up...and punish myself...and be STRICT...I had a protein shake after working out (during nap time)...and for dinner I had a Shakeology shake...I had been BAD all morning/lunch...and so I had to cut back. It's so annoying...
I understand it won't happen like THAT...but at what point does it seem to get easier!?!?! I don't know...I know I am strong...I know I can do it...I just want a day to sit back, not hurt, not care, not watch...nothing...I know that's a TERRIBLE thing to say...and I've been told it takes 30 days to start a habit and only 3 days to break it!?!?! Or something like that...so I know I can't stop...I can't give in...I can't give up...it's just tough.
Not to mention I get up this morning to my entire family hacking up a lung...everyone has been sick this week...(minus me)...kids have had this cough/cold for WEEKS and it won't go away...then Ryan got it...Kyson puked as we walked out the door to bring Klous to school...LOVELY...my shin is KILLING me...and now it's moving into my calf muscle on the back!?!?! I don't know...I think these are just a few more "speed bumps" along the way to see if I'll push through them and over them...or if I'll give up and quit...I'm sick of it...
I'm sick of "having to be strong"...I'm sick of the inner-battles I have...I JUST WANT TO DO IT and BE HAPPY...UGH...
Ok...enough...I vented...I'm done...thanks for reading if you did...right now I'm obviously in a VERY low spot of the roller-coaster...and give it time and I'll be "flying high" again!!!
2 comments:
You'll have ups and downs. Just keep your eye on the goal of living a more healthy life. And for goodness sake, who gave you Valentine's Day chocolate?! Surely not Ryan! Throw it away!
you are doing amazingly. I know you can do it. You are a strong wonderful person and this is just another hurdle you have to get through. you will do it. I know you will. you go girl!
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