Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Struggle...Life...and such :)

Ok...well it's been awhile huh!?!?!?! :( I've been slacking at this blogging thing...and yet I STILL have people coming up and telling me..."I found your blog, it's so inspiring"...or "I love how honest you are on your blog...it motivates me"...or whatever it may be...so I guess I better NOT stop writing right!?!?! Because somewhere out there...I'm helping SOMEONE!!!!
Anyways...Life...isn't it grand!!! I've been down the last week...we did a yard sale last weekend and it really wore me out...it was good and we got rid of CRAP but I was so tired and worn out. I didn't get to do Zumba like usual...or do my morning walks...so I was REALLY moody and ornery as I would be when I miss my workouts. (Funny how they help me so much mentally) I've struggled with my thoughts...outlook on myself...my motivation...and so much more...

 I'm putting these random pictures/quotes in here...because I found them on a facebook page of a VERY successful Beachbody coach...and she looks AMAZING and has done SO good for herself health wise...I'd LOVE to reach those goals...so these things help motivate me!!! 
 The last while I've struggled with what others think...I was doing SO good at NOT caring...at NOT wanting to please everyone else...and then BAM...it just hits me again and all of a sudden that matters!?!?! I don't know what the deal is...but I need to pull my head out again. I DO matter...I DO come first...and I CAN change for the better. I always want to include everyone and not have others feel left out...and sometimes I just CAN'T...and that's ok...but I'm not realizing that as much.
Then there are other issues...family...friends...family...and more!!! I just want to help...I just want to be there...I just want to "fix" things to make them better and make them go away for others...and I CAN'T...last night I was down and upset...and Ryan asked what was the matter...I was talking to him and he looked at me and said..."Becki, is it something you have control over?"....NO DANG IT...I don't...but I wish I did...I wish I could. I wish people would just be happy...I wish people would just get along...I wish people could just get over things and move forward instead of dwelling on the past...it's so hard for me to sit back and watch...but really...I don't have any control over it...so it is what it is.
I just keep reminding myself I have an AMAZING hubby...3 healthy, BEAUTIFUL children...a roof over my head...clothes to wear...food to eat...and I should be MORE grateful for what i DO have. Not what I don't or what others have that I can't...life is hard...but it's hard for all of us...we all have our own issues and trials, and none of us really know what the other is going through. So for now...I will keep my chin up...I will continue to push through...I will be happy with what I have...and I will continue with my goals.
I LOVE this last picture...it's awesome!!! I need to get back to being so dedicated and proud of what I'm doing...I have gotten out every morning this week to walk/run my normal track...I went to Zumba last night AND did the weight room...and I RAN more this morning then I have in the last week...I am feeling GREAT today...(sore yes...but GREAT)!!! I am also teaching Zumba tonight for our Young Women at church...so that'll be fun!!! Anyways...I'm still here...I'm still pushing through...each day is a new adventure and start for me at times...but I will NOT give up...I will NOT stop...I will succeed and do what I set out to do!!!

1 comment:

Julie said...

Becki, you so inspire alot of people. I love your cute blog. You are doing so great and looking really really good. Great job! Thanks for teaching the YW tonight. I think they had alot of fun and really enjoyed it. You are awesome at it! Keep going! Love you!