Just keep swimming...Just keep swimming...

I haven't posted about weight loss for the last couple weeks...haven't really gotten around to it...and have forgotten as well. But the last couple weeks also haven't been so great in this area. I'm not succeeding at the whole eating healthy or even "good" for that matter. :( 
Last week when I weighed...I was 1 pound down...and then this morning when I weighed in...it was back up a pound...so!?!?! Really no weight loss I guess...it all balanced out I suppose. I'm not so proud of it...because the first few weeks of my plan and program...I was doing so SO good...and now it's a pound off...two on...a couple off...and nothing...so!?!?! I don't know...it's starting to get frustrating...
BUT...
then I find something like this quote I put at the beginning...I need to just keep TRYING...I need to keep going...and I NEED to do better. I know the things I'm slacking on...I know I've been putting too much sugar in my mouth...I know I'm not being as healthy and good as I should be...but what do I do about it!?!?! Complain...and not make changes...THAT DOESN'T HELP!!! So there...I've posted this...I've been honest...I've spilled the beans...and now I NEED help and encouragement...I know I can do this...I know I want it...and I know I'm LOVING the changes that have happened so far.
Also...I must mention...stress does NOT help me. It makes me eat more...it makes me upset...it makes me just want to sleep and do nothing...it stirs up the depression more...it just all around sucks. So I have a question...Do any of you readers know how to help me NOT get so involved or upset or worried about other peoples problems!?!? Or to NOT take things so personally!?!?! Some things people have said to me lately have REALLY hurt...and I should be able to just let it go...but I don't know how...and I don't know how to NOT feel bad for people and want to help them!?!?!
So here's to another week...another start...and hoping and WANTING changes to happen...Just gotta keep trying :)

Sisters...Best Friends for life...

P.S...this picture was taken at 4:30 A.M this morning...cute huh!! :)

So last Friday was my birthday...Ryan had taken Thurs/Fri off...and on Thursday he just said he wanted to get the house cleaned up a bit...I didn't think anything of it...other then he wanted to help...WAHOO :) So we cleaned up a little...
Well then Friday morning...we woke me up around 8 or something to tell me he was taking the kids to do something for my birthday...and that I could just sleep in. Well I woke up around 9:30 and didn't hear anything...so I rolled over and went back to bed...then I heard them come in around 10 or after!?!?! I heard balloons...I heard the kids...and then Ryan came in and told me to wake up and Klous told me to come see what they got...so I drug myself out of bed!! Luckily put some clothes on ;)...and Klous told me to close my eyes...while he walked me out to the living room...
When I opened my eyes...still half asleep...and I see my sister Kim sitting on my couch...WHAT THE HECK!?!?! And that's what I said..."what the heck are you doing here?"...I was in shock...she had flown out to surprise me for my birthday...how sweet is that!?!?! Kim lives in Minnesota...like the majority of my family...but she's the one that I am closest to and talk to most of the time...and struggle being so far away from. So for her to do this for me...was so incredibly sweet.
It's crazy how just seeing one person like that can just light me up...I had a GREAT birthday...a GREAT weekend...(with both my sisters, cuz JJ came down from Magna too)...and a GREAT visit with Kim. She is such an example to me...so admirable...and so loving. She is so fun with my kids...and they're missing her lots too...and I am just so thankful that someone would do something so great for me. What makes me deserve it!?!?! 

I LOVE YOU KIM!!! Thank you for being such a great example, sister, friend, and person!! So glad you're in my life!!! I LOVE YOU and MISS YOU like crazy!!!

Having thoughts...

So I'm sure most of you in Utah county area have heard THIS story...but outside of this area, probably not...anyways last week there was shooting...a murder/suicide thing. It was a husband who shot his wife, then turned the gun on himself...they had been seperated since January...and were "exchanging" the kids or something...and BANG...he killed her :(...so now they have 2 orphan children...5 & 3...and no Mommy or Daddy to raise them. Luckily there is LOVING extended family...but...it's not Mom/Dad...so!?!?!
Anyways...so I just saw their obituaries in the paper yesterday...and it just made me sad. The whole story breaks my heart...makes me angry...makes me think of those poor kids...and that poor woman...what must've been going through her head right before!?!?! I can't even imagine...

BUT...

What I can imagine and know is...I have 3 BEAUTIFUL babies...an amazing husband...and great extended family. When I think of those funerals those kids will have to go to...and how hard that would be to deal with...I look at my babies and am SO grateful for the struggles they give me. For the whining, pouting, fighting, arguing, talking back....but more importantly for the hugs, kisses, I Love You's, smiles, laughs, giggles, tickles, and looks I get from them DAILY. I couldn't imagine my life without them...or their lives without me. I don't know what would drive you to that point...and to make those kinds of choices...but I'm grateful for the family I have. I'm grateful that even through my hard days and struggles...that I get the little I'm sorry's...or I love you's...or the extra hugs...when they can tell they hurt Mommy's feelings. Because those are the things that keep me going...even when it's not easy.

Anyways...I've just had those little kids on my mind the last couple days...and hope and pray that they will be able to come to terms with this...and remember the HAPPY times with their parents. I can't even imagine...so sad :( And I hope we can all squeeze our babies, spouses, parents, loved ones a little closer now...and appreciate what we do have.

Onto a happier note...I got a coupon from my good friend Carole this weekend...it was for Old Navy...30% off your entire purchase...so we went Friday night I think!?!?! Well I usually just go in looking for the kids and maybe for t-shirts for Ryan...but tend to stay away from the women's section...but not this time. I went and looked at jeans for a second...and found some to try on...and GUESS WHAT...I fit into a size TWELVE!!! Yes...12...I was so excited and had to get them!! Not only were they size 12 but they were also on clearance for $12...SWEET!!! My body is getting smaller...and my sizes are getting lower...and the changes I'm making are working!! Hooray!!! Yay for me!!! ZUMBA tonight too...Yippee!!!

Finally some updated pictures!!

Ok friends...so I've been thinking I should take new pics of me...but really haven't wanted to, because I still don't feel like I look great. But then I go to Zumba and I put on my work-out clothes...and I'm actually quite pleased with how I look...COMPARED to how I looked before. Not nearly as many rolls!! ;)

So tonight when I got home from Zumba...I made Ryan do a "photo shoot"...he did great!! :) :) Hope you like the comparisons...I can tell a little bit of a difference...not as much as I wish...but it'll come with time...it's only been 2 months...gotta remind myself of that DAILY!!! The first pictures were taken on Jan. 6th...and the ones tonight Mar. 16th!!!

Enjoy!!!

So this slouching position that my sister and I do WHENEVER we see each other...that our husbands HATE...yep...no change in that...because it draws ALL the attention to your GUT...BLAH :) But I had to do it ;)Ok...so kind of can tell my boobs are smaller...that's nice!!
 

A little too close for my liking...but gotta do what you've gotta do!!! I still HATE the double chin...but what can I do!?!? It's just me!!! Definitely can see that my abdomen isn't nearly as wide as it used to be...feels SO good!! Not to mention the other night I could take my jeans off WITHOUT unzipping or unbuttoning them!! SWEET!!!

Side profile...yep...my gut is almost...ALMOST sticking out less then my boobs!! That's what I want...your tummy should only stick out farther...I think...if you're prego!?!?! That's what I think...and want for myself!! Oh...and my butt doesn't look as big?!?! Or is it just me?!?!?

Then there's just this silly shot for Ryan that I had to share!! I was being silly and he snapped the picture!! Gotta love hubby's!!! :) :) :) I know I love mine!! Check out my tummy...it doesn't "muffin top" as much as it used to!! HOORAY!!!!

And just the final...full-body shot!!! I think I'm looking dang good...and Zumba is working miracles!!! I have been slacking on eating great...but with my desire to run...I know I need to improve on that as well as drinking more water still!! Maybe with warmer weather coming...and being outside more...water will be a BIG hit again...it's gotta be!!!
I think the most important thing to say and let you all know is...check out that SMILE!!! I haven't smiled that big or been this happy with myself in a LONG time. Just ask Ryan...I am starting to realize I CAN do this...I CAN change and see things happening...I CAN do things for ME and take the time I need to improve things...which in turn improves my life and family!!!

Just in case anyone is wondering...since I haven't posted my weigh-in for this week...I'm down another pound!! Hooray!!! :) :) :) Thanks for all your support and encouragement!!

I want to...I WANT TO...I WILL :) :) :)

Ok peoples...so I want to do a 5k...I've never been a runner in my LIFE. My brothers have ALWAYS made fun of me for how I run and how slow I am...so ya...I don't like to run. Not to mention my weight...chest size...and being out of breath. So????
Well since I've started thinking more of my health and exercising and trying to do better...Ryan & I have decided we want to do a 5k this year. He'd like to do a marathon at some point...but I'm not there yet!! Good luck babe!!! :) :) I'll stick to 3 miles for now...NOT 26 :) 
Anyways...I've been researching and seeing when some 5k's are happening out here...and I've found quite a few...Some in April...May...July...so??? I've got time to work up to it!!!
Since I have time...I posted something on Facebook to see if my "all-knowing" friends and people out there could give me some advice or info!! I don't know if it's something you have to train for?? I would guess so...seeing as how I can't just get on the treadmill and run for 3 miles...so??? Well one amazing friend...Karla...told me to check out THIS site...and it had good info on it!! Well I've spent the last 20-30 minutes reading all about it and figuring out how I can go from "Couch to 5k"...I CAN DO IT!!!
So here we go...starting this week on this plan...and hopefully in 8-9 weeks I will be ALL ready to RUN a full 5k??? Wouldn't that be sweet!?!?! I think so!!! Here's to getting into even BETTER shape and having something that Ryan & I can do together!! Well kind of...depends on the kiddos...but we'll be working towards the same goal at least!!!
If anyone out there wants to join in...the more the merrier!! I don't know for sure which ones I'll do...but I WILL be doing one!!!

Still working.... :) :) :)

Well I must say that I had HAPPY thoughts and reactions last night when I did my measurements and this morning when I weighed myself!!! I didn't know what the results would be...people have been telling me more that I look thinner...and they can tell a difference...but then one of them asked me if I feel a difference or anything. It made me think...I mean...the pounds aren't coming off on the scale like I think or wish they would be...but when I see my inches...and realize that those are changing...I get excited!!! Some clothes are fitting a little better...and other signs...but I still with the numbers would be going DOWN more on the scale. Hmmm...gotta keep working at that!!!
So here are my measurements for this month...

Arms - 12 (1/2 in lost on both)
Chest - 41 (2 in lost)
Waist - 43 (1 in lost)
Thighs - 24 (1/2 in lost on both)
Hips - 44 (1 in lost)


Total inches lost - 7 inches :) :) :) WOO HOO :) :) :)


So I guess I am getting thinner...and even though the numbers aren't always showing what I'd like on the scale...I am losing inches!!! YAY!!!
And really...I weighed in this morning and I'm back down to 198...which means I've lost another pound...
All around...since I've started this journey...I've lost...
15.25 inches and 12 lbs!!! 
Yay for me!! :) :) :) I'm doing something right!!!
 

Do you ever feel...

...like the rug has been COMPLETELY pulled out from under you!?!?! 

Or that everyone is getting everything given to them or whatever...and you're just having to sit back and struggle and work harder!?!? 

Or that anything you say or do is being WATCHED like a hawk and you're being judged no matter if it's good or bad?!?! 

Or that you've felt SO incredibly good about something for a month and then BAM...just gone and no chance of things going your way?!?!?

Or that your kids are picking up on all the BAD words you're saying...(I mean we don't swear or anything...but when you hear your kids saying crap...or hate...or stupid...or dumb...it just makes you realize how often you use those words) 

Or that the desires and goals you've set for yourself look like they'll NEVER happen because too many other things keep getting put in the way?!?!?

Or that you'll never be really, TRULY happy...because you just don't know where to find that anymore!?!?!

I don't know...I've had a REALLY crappy week...and I just wonder and wish I knew when things would ever turn out the way we'd like them. I mean I know things all happen for a reason...and I know I'm supposed to learn something from all the trials and STUFF that happens...but REALLY!?!?! When is enough ENOUGH!?!?!? I feel like we're doing a LOT of what we're supposed to...and that we're improving...and yet I struggle to have the faith and ability to see the blessings or things that are coming to us!?!?! 
I'm sorry for the venting...but this week has been really tough...and especially since about Thursday...there have been a LOT of tears shed...and I'm struggling...I just wish I could see at least a SPECK of the "light at the end of the tunnel"...someday huh!?!?!

Progress...or not really...

So I have forgotten the last couple days to post my weight loss or weigh in results this week. I weighed in on Monday evening, because I forgot that morning...and it wasn't what I liked...so I did it again Tuesday morning...guess what. It DIDN'T change :) :) :) ha ha...surprise surprise huh!!!
So I weighed in at 199 this week...which is a pound up from last I think...I don't know what's wrong with me. I mean I do...I've been a SLACKER...
This month I have really sucked it up on eating good. I've given into Springtime Oreo's and Mint brownies TOO much...and I need to stop. The pounds haven't been coming off this month...and I need to change that. So that's what March is gonna do...dinners at home...HEALTHY dinners...and snacks...and no more CRAP!!!
We went to the park yesterday after play-group...and I packed a lunch for the kids and some friends...and the grapes and strawberries were SOOOO good...that was encouraging, because I will be going to get more from the store and snacking on those instead of what I have been choosing. I also need to continue drinking more water too...I've been slacking on that too, and have been noticing more headaches. So...LOTS to work on this month!!!
I liked this quote/picture...because life has been tough the last while...stress...people...frustrations...just reality really...and so I've had to realize that the only thing I can do is do what is right for ME and MY family...and if others don't like it or agree with it...too bad. So I'm also going to really work this month to wake up and choose to have a positive attitude...choose to be happy and not let things get to me so much. 
Wish me luck...and THANK YOU to all of my continued and devoted readers/comment givers. The last couple posts were REALLY tough for me...and the comments that came through...(after that certain one)...really meant a lot to me. So thank you for being such great people and helping me through my tough times!!!