Finally some updated pictures!!

Ok friends...so I've been thinking I should take new pics of me...but really haven't wanted to, because I still don't feel like I look great. But then I go to Zumba and I put on my work-out clothes...and I'm actually quite pleased with how I look...COMPARED to how I looked before. Not nearly as many rolls!! ;)

So tonight when I got home from Zumba...I made Ryan do a "photo shoot"...he did great!! :) :) Hope you like the comparisons...I can tell a little bit of a difference...not as much as I wish...but it'll come with time...it's only been 2 months...gotta remind myself of that DAILY!!! The first pictures were taken on Jan. 6th...and the ones tonight Mar. 16th!!!

Enjoy!!!

So this slouching position that my sister and I do WHENEVER we see each other...that our husbands HATE...yep...no change in that...because it draws ALL the attention to your GUT...BLAH :) But I had to do it ;)Ok...so kind of can tell my boobs are smaller...that's nice!!
 

A little too close for my liking...but gotta do what you've gotta do!!! I still HATE the double chin...but what can I do!?!? It's just me!!! Definitely can see that my abdomen isn't nearly as wide as it used to be...feels SO good!! Not to mention the other night I could take my jeans off WITHOUT unzipping or unbuttoning them!! SWEET!!!

Side profile...yep...my gut is almost...ALMOST sticking out less then my boobs!! That's what I want...your tummy should only stick out farther...I think...if you're prego!?!?! That's what I think...and want for myself!! Oh...and my butt doesn't look as big?!?! Or is it just me?!?!?

Then there's just this silly shot for Ryan that I had to share!! I was being silly and he snapped the picture!! Gotta love hubby's!!! :) :) :) I know I love mine!! Check out my tummy...it doesn't "muffin top" as much as it used to!! HOORAY!!!!

And just the final...full-body shot!!! I think I'm looking dang good...and Zumba is working miracles!!! I have been slacking on eating great...but with my desire to run...I know I need to improve on that as well as drinking more water still!! Maybe with warmer weather coming...and being outside more...water will be a BIG hit again...it's gotta be!!!
I think the most important thing to say and let you all know is...check out that SMILE!!! I haven't smiled that big or been this happy with myself in a LONG time. Just ask Ryan...I am starting to realize I CAN do this...I CAN change and see things happening...I CAN do things for ME and take the time I need to improve things...which in turn improves my life and family!!!

Just in case anyone is wondering...since I haven't posted my weigh-in for this week...I'm down another pound!! Hooray!!! :) :) :) Thanks for all your support and encouragement!!

I want to...I WANT TO...I WILL :) :) :)

Ok peoples...so I want to do a 5k...I've never been a runner in my LIFE. My brothers have ALWAYS made fun of me for how I run and how slow I am...so ya...I don't like to run. Not to mention my weight...chest size...and being out of breath. So????
Well since I've started thinking more of my health and exercising and trying to do better...Ryan & I have decided we want to do a 5k this year. He'd like to do a marathon at some point...but I'm not there yet!! Good luck babe!!! :) :) I'll stick to 3 miles for now...NOT 26 :) 
Anyways...I've been researching and seeing when some 5k's are happening out here...and I've found quite a few...Some in April...May...July...so??? I've got time to work up to it!!!
Since I have time...I posted something on Facebook to see if my "all-knowing" friends and people out there could give me some advice or info!! I don't know if it's something you have to train for?? I would guess so...seeing as how I can't just get on the treadmill and run for 3 miles...so??? Well one amazing friend...Karla...told me to check out THIS site...and it had good info on it!! Well I've spent the last 20-30 minutes reading all about it and figuring out how I can go from "Couch to 5k"...I CAN DO IT!!!
So here we go...starting this week on this plan...and hopefully in 8-9 weeks I will be ALL ready to RUN a full 5k??? Wouldn't that be sweet!?!?! I think so!!! Here's to getting into even BETTER shape and having something that Ryan & I can do together!! Well kind of...depends on the kiddos...but we'll be working towards the same goal at least!!!
If anyone out there wants to join in...the more the merrier!! I don't know for sure which ones I'll do...but I WILL be doing one!!!

Still working.... :) :) :)

Well I must say that I had HAPPY thoughts and reactions last night when I did my measurements and this morning when I weighed myself!!! I didn't know what the results would be...people have been telling me more that I look thinner...and they can tell a difference...but then one of them asked me if I feel a difference or anything. It made me think...I mean...the pounds aren't coming off on the scale like I think or wish they would be...but when I see my inches...and realize that those are changing...I get excited!!! Some clothes are fitting a little better...and other signs...but I still with the numbers would be going DOWN more on the scale. Hmmm...gotta keep working at that!!!
So here are my measurements for this month...

Arms - 12 (1/2 in lost on both)
Chest - 41 (2 in lost)
Waist - 43 (1 in lost)
Thighs - 24 (1/2 in lost on both)
Hips - 44 (1 in lost)


Total inches lost - 7 inches :) :) :) WOO HOO :) :) :)


So I guess I am getting thinner...and even though the numbers aren't always showing what I'd like on the scale...I am losing inches!!! YAY!!!
And really...I weighed in this morning and I'm back down to 198...which means I've lost another pound...
All around...since I've started this journey...I've lost...
15.25 inches and 12 lbs!!! 
Yay for me!! :) :) :) I'm doing something right!!!
 

Do you ever feel...

...like the rug has been COMPLETELY pulled out from under you!?!?! 

Or that everyone is getting everything given to them or whatever...and you're just having to sit back and struggle and work harder!?!? 

Or that anything you say or do is being WATCHED like a hawk and you're being judged no matter if it's good or bad?!?! 

Or that you've felt SO incredibly good about something for a month and then BAM...just gone and no chance of things going your way?!?!?

Or that your kids are picking up on all the BAD words you're saying...(I mean we don't swear or anything...but when you hear your kids saying crap...or hate...or stupid...or dumb...it just makes you realize how often you use those words) 

Or that the desires and goals you've set for yourself look like they'll NEVER happen because too many other things keep getting put in the way?!?!?

Or that you'll never be really, TRULY happy...because you just don't know where to find that anymore!?!?!

I don't know...I've had a REALLY crappy week...and I just wonder and wish I knew when things would ever turn out the way we'd like them. I mean I know things all happen for a reason...and I know I'm supposed to learn something from all the trials and STUFF that happens...but REALLY!?!?! When is enough ENOUGH!?!?!? I feel like we're doing a LOT of what we're supposed to...and that we're improving...and yet I struggle to have the faith and ability to see the blessings or things that are coming to us!?!?! 
I'm sorry for the venting...but this week has been really tough...and especially since about Thursday...there have been a LOT of tears shed...and I'm struggling...I just wish I could see at least a SPECK of the "light at the end of the tunnel"...someday huh!?!?!

Progress...or not really...

So I have forgotten the last couple days to post my weight loss or weigh in results this week. I weighed in on Monday evening, because I forgot that morning...and it wasn't what I liked...so I did it again Tuesday morning...guess what. It DIDN'T change :) :) :) ha ha...surprise surprise huh!!!
So I weighed in at 199 this week...which is a pound up from last I think...I don't know what's wrong with me. I mean I do...I've been a SLACKER...
This month I have really sucked it up on eating good. I've given into Springtime Oreo's and Mint brownies TOO much...and I need to stop. The pounds haven't been coming off this month...and I need to change that. So that's what March is gonna do...dinners at home...HEALTHY dinners...and snacks...and no more CRAP!!!
We went to the park yesterday after play-group...and I packed a lunch for the kids and some friends...and the grapes and strawberries were SOOOO good...that was encouraging, because I will be going to get more from the store and snacking on those instead of what I have been choosing. I also need to continue drinking more water too...I've been slacking on that too, and have been noticing more headaches. So...LOTS to work on this month!!!
I liked this quote/picture...because life has been tough the last while...stress...people...frustrations...just reality really...and so I've had to realize that the only thing I can do is do what is right for ME and MY family...and if others don't like it or agree with it...too bad. So I'm also going to really work this month to wake up and choose to have a positive attitude...choose to be happy and not let things get to me so much. 
Wish me luck...and THANK YOU to all of my continued and devoted readers/comment givers. The last couple posts were REALLY tough for me...and the comments that came through...(after that certain one)...really meant a lot to me. So thank you for being such great people and helping me through my tough times!!!

Really!?!?!

How could someone be so INCREDIBLY hearltess and RUDE?!?!? I will make this blog private if these kind of comments will be coming through. What a way to "encourage" me and "help"...I can make assumptions of who did this...but I'll never get an honest answer...so I just wanted to make EVERYONE else aware who reads this blog...whoever did that is PATHETIC...

Here's the thing...my last blog post...when I just wanted help...to vent...or whatever...cuz you know that's what a blog is about...this is a comment I get from an "anonymous" person....

http://www.webmd.com/managing-bipolar/depression-information

Ya...nice huh!?!?! Just that website...just that...nothing else...no explanation. Nice huh!?!?! Way to go whoever you are...

Why??

 

So why is it that we as women take SO much out on ourselves?? Why do we beat ourselves up, and be SO incredibly hard on ourselves and each other?? Why can't we just accept things how they are and realize that a LOT of things we can't change?? We can't change the past...we can't predict the future...all we can do is accept what we have to MOVE FORWARD. 

Some things have happened over the weekend that I'm not real proud of...but they happened. Some issues just get built up TOO much and finally I explode...and it brings out a LOT of cooped up anger, frustration, and more. So I don't know how to change that...I don't know how to feel about reactions that come from it. I know it's a weakness I have...and I have to accept that and MOVE FORWARD. However...it's difficult. 

I'm tired of wondering and worrying what other people think...how they feel about me...what they say about me when I'm not around...if they like me OR my kids & hubby...I don't know. I say I don't care...but we all know that deep down we all really do care...so what do I do!?!?!

WHY is being a woman so difficult??...and WHY do I beat myself up so much??...and WHY do I always feel like I have to accept the blame for things and just deal with it, to make others feel better and to "fix" their problems!?!?! WHY WHY WHY!?!??!