Try to NOT be upset...

So it's been a couple days...and today is Sunday again...time for me to weigh in...I should just avoid the scale...it's just a depressing object. I say I won't let it affect me, but we all know the truth... :( 
I got up this morning and weighed-in again...I was up a pound...???? SO...is it muscle?? Is it my cupcake choice?? Is it just my stupid body?? Who knows...but I'm trying to stay positive and not get discouraged for gaining a pound. I can tell my body is getting smaller...inches wise...but it's still frustrating.
Here's to hoping this week just gets better...and I continue to NOT do things or eat things I shouldn't...UGH...hate this feeling.
I'm going to be making the YUMMY Chipotle Burritos for dinner tonight....the whole Jones family will be here...BUT...we're using brown rice instead...greek yogurt for sour cream...wheat tortillas...if for no one else...that's what Ryan and I will be eating!!! Changes are happening...and choices are being made better!!!

I struggled...but I OVERCAME it :)

I was REALLY beating myself up the last couple days. I'm in the Young Women's program in our ward (girls ages 12-18 at church)...so I was at the "New Beginnings" program on Wednesday night. I had been to 2 or 3 different activities that I was STRONG and did NOT eat the refreshments or treats that were available...I was doing SO SO good...then came the end on Wednesday and time for cupcakes. The looked beautiful and delicious...everyone was commenting on how great they were...so I had to try. :( I gave in and I had one...and a half...:( I was so SICK from all the sugar. Yes they were DELICIOUS...and I couldn't make anything as tasty and nice looking...BUT...I knew better.
Well...the rest of the night...and all day yesterday I just beat myself up. I was angry...depressed...frustrated...annoyed...and upset that I had given in and eaten some. I know it's not the end of the world...but to me it was like a "temptation" on the Biggest Loser...and I gave in. :( It wasn't worth it...I had to do 50 extra push-ups because of it...I had to ONLY eat salads and fresh things yesterday to make up for the extra sugar/calories...I was SO SO mad...the whole day kinda fell apart...and I was REALLY struggling...
Then my amazing friend Eric sends me a text...just asking how my "food" was going for the day...little does he know I was in tears when I got his message...because it was just what I needed, who I needed to talk to, and soon what I needed to hear!!! It wasn't anything AMAZING...(well it was to me)...but he just said things like "it's not the end of the world", "we all have days that get away from us, just stay focused, deal with it, and don't let your nutrition 'get away from you'", "you are doing GREAT", "EVERYONE struggles Becki, even me"...things like that, that just hit where I needed it. He knew what I needed to hear...he knew how to encourage me to keep going...and he was there when I needed him most. It was GREAT to chat with him over text...yes I have my husband to talk things through with too...and he's a HUGE support and help too...but Ryan loves me regardless. He's not going to be harsh when I need it...he's not going to tell me to drop and give him 50 push-ups by the end of the day...(well maybe he will, but I won't listen) :)...but he is there for me ALL the time. Having Eric is AMAZING...he has the heart that is needed to get me through my HARD days and my exciting times!!!
Well...after my "pep-talk" from Eric...I sucked it up...did some push-ups...ate a delicious, healthy salad for lunch...had an apple for a snack...and then another BIG, healthy salad for dinner!! LOTS of water...and LOTS of push-ups. I went to Zumba last night...LOVED IT...and I woke up ready this morning to start a NEW day!!! 
I pushed through my struggle...realized I just let myself down, but that it was NOT going to stop me from succeeding and doing what I have set up to do. I have goals...and I WILL accomplish them...no matter how hard...what emotions come...or what I have to do as "penalties" from Eric...I WILL SUCCEED.
The end of the pep-talk from Eric went like this..."a terrible workout is better then no workout, some days are going to be easier and better than others. Your strength will build from how well you handle the bad days, and from your support system."

SOOO...THANK YOU Eric...Thank you to my amazing, supportive husband...Thank you to my supportive friends and family who are there pushing me through. You all have NO idea how much I appreciate it...and yes the cupcake was YUMM-O...BUT...I know now not to binge and eat out of emotion...I need to be STRONG!!!

Addictions...BAD habits...and thoughts...

Ok I haven't posted in a couple days now...so here I am!!! Still here...still trying to work at this...still pushing through!!! Over the last week and a half...I've had LOTS of thoughts about my life...my habits...my traditions...my addictions...and how CRAZY it is that I didn't feel or realize any of it...or how BAD it really was until now. 
I used to ALWAYS want pop...I'd go through phases where I'd go buy 4, 8, or more 12-packs a week because they were on sale...JUST to "stock up"...and then we'd CONSTANTLY have the fridge full and ready for us or whoever else came over and got thirsty!!! I would look at people who had "been off it" for months or years and think...whatever...it's not that bad. I remember my parents having a "WALL" of pop...Mt. Dew...Diet Pepsi...Cherry Pepsi...whatever we wanted and was on sale. As teenagers it was just there and we could have it whenever....there really was no asking for it that I remember...just drinking it at our leisure!!! I would go in spurts and drink a LOT fairly often...then I'd lighten up a bit and not drink it...but NEVER have I completely been OFF of pop. WHY!?!?! Why do it??? It's not THAT bad right?? It tastes good RIGHT??? Then you see the youtube videos about what it does to you...the Dr's talking about the negatives of it...the PILES of fat, sugar, and whatever else on Biggest Loser of what it looks like in pounds. SO SICK...well I've decided to STOP. I don't need it. I don't need that sugar...I don't need the pounds it's putting on ME...I don't need the dehydration that comes from it. I NEED water...and I will NOT drink it...I will choose water instead!!! Time to BREAK that bad habit...
Now onto sugars and sweets and chocolate...this is a HARD one as well. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my sweets!!! I can do it or...learn to do it...in moderation. I have to. I will NOT say that I'm completely DONE with it for life, because that's not realistic to me...and I know I would be setting myself up completely to fail. I have a hard time with people who tell me I just don't need it, it's not ok, or just be DONE with it. REALLY!?!?! Do these people REALLY never eat sugar?? Never eat a chocolate treat!?!?! Never have treats or M&M's in their house or anything!?!?! Are there REALLY people out there like that?? Obviously I know there is...but I'm pretty sure there are more that DON'T do that...than do!?!?! I have been dang good I think this last 10 days at NOT eating all the candy/chocolate/sugar in sight...BUT I have not completely cut it out. I limit it...like today...I had ONE hershey hug...and then I sweat it off at Zumba...I think that's ok!?!?! Others may disagree???
There are SO many things I have learned about myself through this...that I didn't realize were truly BAD habits...the time of day when I would just SIT and SNACK...same time...every day...all week long. NAPTIME...my kids are asleep or having "quiet time"...and I'm "relaxing" for a bit. That's what would start my LAZY time of day...from about 2-5 I would do not much but check out things online...watch some shows...EAT...fall asleep sometimes...EAT some more...and that's it. SO SO SO bad...and over the last while I've had to overcome that time of day...it has NOT been easy. I have found myself still sitting...still being lazy...but I realize it and I have to get up...I go do the dishes...I start some laundry...I sweep the kitchen/dining room. Obviously I can't do an AMAZING workout or anything, because my kids are all asleep usually and so I'm stuck at home...but I can do SOMETHING. So I'm working on that...I have so much energy and gung-ho attitude in the mornings to just go go go...but about 2:00-3:00 rolls around and I'm BEAT. I just want to sit and veg....but I can't...MUST GET OUT OF THAT HABIT...and I'm continuing to work on it!!!
Sorry for this LONG shpeel about my thoughts and bad habits...but I hope that maybe it'll help someone out there look at their lives...their choices...their desire to change...and maybe it'll get just one person to make a small change!?!?!? Maybe??? :)
The last 2 days have been a bit more challenging then last week...cuz last week I had a guideline...I had a strict diet to stick to. Now this week I'm having to be creative and put a LOT of thought into things to make them tasty but only a FEW calories!!! This week I'm at 1500 calories to take in...and then continuing to work out...exercise...work out...and exercise to burn off even MORE then that to actually lose the weight I want. I can tell my body is changing...I can see where I'm getting smaller...I can see and feel the muscles getting more toned and defined...and I LIKE IT!!! :) :) :) :) 
So far so good...week 2 has been treating me GOOD!!! :)

It was a SUCCESS :)

Well I'm sure some of you are waiting for the "RESULTS" post...and here it is!!! I had a busy weekend and day yesterday...but of course I didn't let anything get in the way of doing my weight and measurements yesterday morning!!! :) Let's just say you can all "high-five" the screen for me!! Cuz I'm THRILLED with the results!!! :)
So Saturday was the last day...and Ryan & I decided we'd push through and do it all day til "afternoon snack"...then we'd do something healthier for dinner other then fish, chicken, steamed cabbage/brussel sprouts...so he was working on taxes all day...and I went to Ikea with his sisters...I brought along my healthy snacks and water!!! It was good...when we got home we were all ready to figure something out for dinner...we ended up going to Pizza Pie Cafe...probably not the HEALTHIEST choice...but it has salad/pasta/pizza for everyone...and the kids enjoy the noodles. SO...here we go...and our big thing was saying that we were NOT having another salad...HA...where did I start...the salad bar!!! I had to...how could I go for a whole week doing SO good and then NOT start at the salad bar!?!?! I had some spinach...meat...peas...and vinaigrette dressing. (Which I'm assuming they don't use light/fat free cuz it was STRONG dressing...BLAH...too much for my taste)...then I had a SMALL SMALL piece of buffalo pizza (tomatoes, chicken)...and a regular plate of angel hair pasta...HOWEVER...I could only eat half of it and I was DONE...STUFFED to the rim...plump full!!! I did have a SLIVER of a SMALL piece of Oreo dessert pizza...but that was WAY too much sugar as well. I was impressed...for going to a place that I LOVE and usually WAY over-eating...this time I felt like I ''under" ate for paying for the buffet. I thought I did good...but I can't help but wonder if I would've finished with the real dinner I should've had...if my numbers would've been any different!?!?! Who knows...
Then yesterday...we had breakfast...Ryan made these omelet things...with eggs, sausage, green peppers, and onions...He brought me a HEAPING plate...and I said "wow...good job with portions ;)"....but I could only eat like a third of it...I was STUFFED...then we had church...I had my apple before church...and then came home to have a small bowl of cereal with skim milk before going to Ryan's parents for dinner...his mom was making taco salad...(yes SALAD AGAIN!!!)...but even with that I couldn't eat much...I loaded my plate with LOTS of romaine, red onions, tomatoes, avocado, some ground chicken, and like 10 doritos...(which I only ate like 4 of)...I am VERY impressed with myself and how I can NOT eat like I used to. I know it's a mental thing...and I know I can't let my guard or myself down...but I am very proud of myself for not snacking...not munching...not stuffing my face...just eating til I'm satisfied and stopping. Yay for me...

Alright...here are the results of my weigh-in and measurements yesterday!!! Drum roll please....I'm down....
6.2 lbs
and
5 3/4 inches 

I will NOT stop now...I can't...I'm into an amount of weight I haven't been in a LONG time!!! I WILL continue...and I WILL succeed even more!!!

Still pushing on!!! I CAN do it...

Here I am on FRIDAY...yes...FRIDAY!!! I've made it all week long...I'm stuck to the restricted diet...I've eaten the foods I NEVER thought I would and I've even enjoyed/appreciated them when meal time came around!!! 
Yes I've had and done my fair share of complaining...BUT I've done this...and I WILL finish!!! I'm ready for more variety then steamed cabbage at dinner...BUT...I will finish this off!!!
Yesterday morning I woke up and was LACKING the motivation to get up...to do my workouts...to eat what I HAD to all day...so I needed some kind of motivation. I probably shouldn't have...but I got up, went to the bathroom and saw the scale sitting there!!! I decided I'd just check out my progress...in pounds at least...and I was pleasantly THRILLED!!! :) :) :) 
Now...I'm not going to say what I've done...or how I've done...but I will say that it's WORKING...my realization that I do need to TRUST THE SYSTEM...and believe that what these people are telling me WILL happen, if I just stick to it and keep pushing through!!! 
I will do all my measurements again on Sunday morning...and also my weight...that will be the time I share and show my results...it will show what/how I've done in the last 6 days!!! 
Seeing the numbers on the scale yesterday got me to KEEP GOING. 
Now...I told Ryan and talked to him about it...and he reminded me that yes I may lose weight...BUT I need to remember that my weight will fluctuate...it won't always be going down...it may go up...it may stay the same...BUT I am still doing a good job and making changes!!! Then I talked to Eric earlier this week...and he reminded me that losing weight/pounds are only a SMALL part of getting healthy...and finally I got a note on facebook from my sweet sister-in-law, who told me that I am doing GREAT...but to remember that there will be weeks that there isn't a BIG number drop...just like on Biggest Loser...but those people just keep pushing...keep going...and keep succeeding!!! THAT will be ME as well!!!
YAY!!! I loved this picture when I saw it...I feel like that pretty blue flower...and I WILL push through the hard ground!!! :) :) :) 

Struggling...but pushing through...

So I finally had to ask and text Eric this afternoon to ask...Monday wasn't SOOO bad...but yesterday and today I am REALLY struggling...I do great when I wake up...I get up do my workouts...then drink my shake...then I'm good and get through my snack/lunch....and then I start to SLOW DOWN....I start dragging...I'm on edge...I'm ornery...I'm grumpy...and I just want to lay down and do nothing!!!
Obviously I CAN'T...I'm a mom...a wife...and I have things I need to take care of...so I push through it and try to smile!!! :) But I asked Eric today WHY...WHY does 4:00 hit and I feel DEAD!?!?! I feel like I hit a wall, and I am just struggling. I'm whiny...I'm grumpy...I'm hungry...I'm just struggling...
His answers were obvious and informative!!! First off...I'm only eating 1180-1200 calories a day with this 6-day express diet...so my calories are REALLY low...and by that time of day I've burned off more then that...(which is also a good thing, because then it kicks my metabolism into gear!!!)...but also he asked if that time of day is when I would eat crap and snack...which guess what...it WAS/IS...it's the end of naptime...it's the end of the afternoon...the end of the day when I'm trying to figure out what to do for dinner...and with each look in the fridge, walk through the kitchen, or whatever...I would grab SOMETHING and eat it. NOT good things...NOT good snacks...so......I'm also overcoming a "food/eating addiction" for that time of day...
Yay me...so besides struggling, being hungry, and worn out...I get to overcome these other obstacles!!! Which they'd have to be overcome eventually...or I won't change...but for all of this to hit me at the same time in one week...it's been a challenge. 
I'm tired...I wanna quit...I wanna eat what I want...I wanna give up...I wanna not figure out how to make fish/chicken & cabbage exciting for dinner...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....it's hard. I won't lie...
I will NOT quit...I will NOT give up...I will NOT give in...BUT I will be honest and tell each and every one of you...this is NOT easy for me. Thank goodness it's only 6 days...but the things I'm learning about myself in just these 3 days so far....they kinda make me sick!!! I've really formed some BAD habits, and I'm SO SO grateful for the step I've taken to change and IMPROVE...
I've DECIDED...I've COMMITTED...and I WILL SUCCEED :)

Yesterday was HARD...Day #2 DONE...

So yesterday...Tuesday...was a HARD HARD HARD day. I was so hungry...just wanted a TREAT...felt like the above picture was just following me around and would NOT go away. :( All I wanted was one piece of chocolate...is that too much to ask!?!?!? It was HARD...
I was strong...I texted Ryan...I texted Eric...I texted my sister Kim...all of them helped encourage me and say YOU DON'T NEED IT...BE STRONG BECKI...so I knew I could do it. I wasn't going to give in the 2nd day...how lame would that be!!! But it would've tasted yummy!!! 
So I did it...stuck to my "menu" and options...chugged some water...and went on with my day!!! It's really hard getting lunches or snacks for the kids though too...when you're not used to just licking your fingers...or eating one out of their bowls...or whatever...it's opening my eyes to see what I do and how BAD it is!!!
So I did it...had my shake for breakfast...had an apple for my morning snack...then lunch was LOTS of spinach, celery, string green beans, and chicken, with some vinaigrette dressing!! SO YUMMY!!! :) Who knew!! And afternoon snack I had 1/2 c of cottage cheese and some grapes!!! (NOT a fan of cottage cheese...but I choked it down)...

THEN came dinner...what to do what to do!?!?!? Here it is...

 Grilled fish...steamed cabbage (which I had already eaten half of before Ryan said I should take a picture)...and a banana...oh and LOTS of water!!! Yum!!! The cabbage was MUCH better then the brussel sprouts!! We both finished it too!!! :)
Then I headed out to THE HARDEST THING EVER...we were having an activity at the church for the women (Relief Society)...and it was "Chocolate Lover's Unite"...that was the title/topic...I KNOW!!! Not fair huh!!! :) So I debated a LOT about going or not...but I needed to get out!!! I went...the chocolate smelled DELICIOUS...we got bags of M&M's and had to answer questions based on the colors...so I HAD to touch them and open them...it was NOT easy. BUT...I did it...I didn't eat anything...I just enjoyed the smell!!! :) I guess it was a blessing too that I had to leave a little early to get to Zumba too...but it was still hard!!!
So I survived yesterday...hoping today is a LOT easier...and that I just eat what I can, when I can...and be happy with it!!! We're on day 3 now...so half way there...really not that bad!!!
Here's to hoping for a GOOD day!!

Day 1....DONE!!!

So it's coming to the close of DAY 1 on this journey!!! 5 more to go on this diet plan...and a LIFETIME of being healthy!!! 
I survived the first day...struggled a bit, but I did it. Tried the Shakeology shake for breakfast...went to the Rec and walked the track after doing Slim in 6 earlier!!! We had a family day today, seeing as how it is a holiday and Daddy is home!! So that was nice to have Ryan's constant help and support!!! We had our snack...a BIG salad for lunch, that was actually delicious!!! And then our afternoon snack, and dinner tonight!!! Now I'm drinking my water before bed and relaxing for the night!!!

This is a picture of the dinner I made tonight. Filet of tilapia fish...2 c of brussel sprouts (Ryan thought that was a LOT more then 2 cups)...and then 1 c of fresh strawberries!!! I was REALLY nervous about dinner...wondering what it would be like...if it would fill me up...and if I'd like it!?!?! I didn't want to puke...so I was nervous. The fish was fine...I don't mind fish...and the strawberries, obviously, were great!!! Then came the time to try a brussel sprout...I poked one and ate it...and it wasn't so bad!!! I didn't expect them to taste how they did...but they really were ok!!! I think they'd be better with some vinegar or something on them...but I ate mine!!! Can't say the same for Ryan!!! He choked down 4 of them...and was gagging...so he couldn't finish!! He said he'll opt for cabbage the next few nights for dinner!!! 
So there you have it...I did it...I'm proud of myself...and I know I can do it the rest of the week!!! 
I did realize today though that I have to learn or teach myself to NOT eat just because. I realized that I eat because I'm bored...because I walk by something and it's there...so I eat it. Not because I'm hungry or need something...but because I have nothing to do or I see something...and I just eat it. BAD HABIT...obviously the reason I've gotten to where I am huh!!! Anxious to see how my body is and works after this week...Eric just reminded me tonight to "TRUST THE SYSTEM"...so that is what I'm doing...putting my trust and faith in Eric and the system, that it WILL work...that I CAN do it...and changes WILL come!!!

I GOT UP!!!

I did it...first morning DONE!!! I got up...did my workouts...got done with the first and thought..."well that was nothing"...cuz it was similar to the Jillian dvd I have been doing. BUT THEN...I realized Eric had put that he wanted me to do "Slim in 6-PACK" as well. HOLY MOLY...it was HARD-CORE abs for 20 minutes...INSANE!!! 
BUT...I have abs...I can feel them under there!!! WOOHOO!!! I know it'll only get easier from here...and those abs will pop out!!! YAY!!!
I'm happy I got up...(as hard as it was, because the WHOLE house was quiet...hubby was still in bed cuz he has today off...I didn't go to bed until after midnight...and I was WARM, TIRED, and SLEEPING)...BUT...I got up...I did it...and I'm HAPPY!!! Proud of myself for doing it...getting up...and following/achieving my goals!!! Now to start the diet part and stick to that today...here goes!!!

This is a quote Eric put on facebook this morning...I thought it was fitting...both for the workout side of it...goal side of it...AND because it is Martin Luther King day!!! Happy Monday all :)

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase" ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

Let the journey begin....

Alrighty...here it is...here we go...let the FUN begin!!! For the next 6 weeks this here Debbie will be my BEST friend!! Well not really...I'll still have Ryan...but I'll see her DAILY!!! I'll follow her instructions DAILY...and I'll start making changes!!! 

I am starting her "Slim in 6" tomorrow morning...January 16, 2012...I will be committing to doing her workouts...following her "start up" 6-day diet...and CHANGING my life!!! It's not going to be just a temporary change...it will be a lifestyle change...and I WILL stick to it!!!

My friend Eric is in the process...as I type this...of filling out my workout plan and going to instruct me as to what I need to do!!! Between Slim in 6, Zumba, my Jillian dvd, and walking/running...I'll be a whole new Becki in NO time!!! :) Only this time I'm actually changing my eating too...YAY!!!

I'm anxious, excited, nervous, and worried about starting...but I know I'll be fine. I can do it...I WILL do it...and I WILL succeed. I'm worried about setting myself up to fail...but I know I am stronger then that, and that I can succeed!! Failure is NOT an option for me right now...too many people are watching...joining...and helping/encouraging!!! 

Go Becki :) 

I'll be posting daily as a journal type thing...to show how I'm feeling, doing, and what my tough parts have been!!! 

Here goes nothing!!! :) :) :)

THE program!!! My plan...

Well...here it is!!! The package I got in the mail last week...but my trainer/friend Eric was in Mexico on his honeymoon...so I'm finally getting ready to start it this week. SO SO excited...or maybe anxious...or nervous...but READY to make a change!!!

Here's what it is...the program is called Slim in 6....it's a 6 week program...start with dvd #1 (Start it Up)...do that for 2 weeks...then start the dvd #2 (Ramp it Up)...do that for weeks 2-4....and finally do dvd #3 (Burn it Up)...and do that for weeks 4-6...YAY!!! A full plan and workout arrangement that I just have to put in my DVD player at home!!! The info-mercial stuff says it takes care of TROUBLE spots...which is clearly what I need!!! Tummy, bum, legs...YAY...SLIM THEM DOWN!!!

So I'll be doing this starting Monday...while still including Zumba and my Jillian DVD if Eric says to do it!! He knows what he's talking about...I don't!!! So we'll see...BUT...either way...I'll be doing this Slim in 6...and along with that drinking one of the Shakeology shakes once a day to curb my cravings and hunger!!! All the things I've seen or read on these products is positive...they work...they help...they're a lifestyle change, NOT just a quick fix...SO...here we go!!

Who wants to join me!?!?!? Eric is willing to set up a group of friends of mine to work together...help each other...hold each other accountable...so who wants in!?!?! You're welcome to come to my house and do the DVD's with me...we can all slim down together!!! I know you want to!!!


All YOU need to do is...DECIDE...COMMIT...and we'll all SUCCEED together!!!

To check out more info on these products or Eric's training page...go to THIS website!!!

Discouraging...OR...Motivating????

So I wrote up this WHOLE post last night because I couldn't sleep...and my mind was racing...and it was like 1 in the morning...then I go to post it and my stupid iPhone closed out and I lost the whole thing...I was so bugged...and thought maybe it was a sign or something!?!?! Who knows???

Anyways...I had lots on my mind...and I had to put it somewhere...so why not here huh!!! :) Here goes...


I did LOTS of exercising yesterday...and was really quite proud of myself!!! I brought Klous to school yesterday morning...and then headed straight for the Rec center with the other two...we went down to the track, where we walked 5 laps and ran 4!!! I was thrilled!!! Completely sweaty, tired, jello legs, and shaky....BUT I did it!!! Then last night...I went back to the Rec at 8 for my usual Zumba class...where I could only stay for 45 minutes, because then I had to leave to go TEACH a Zumba class at 9....so all in all I got 1 hour and 45 minutes in of Zumba last night...again...very impressed with being able to last...and actually finishing it!!!


Now...here's where the thoughts come in...I got home and started stretching and trying to cool down!!! And I remembered that for this exercise program I got from Eric...(which I'll post more about later today)...that I will be starting on Monday for sure...it said to take pictures and measurements of myself BEFORE I start it. I've done measurements before...and whatever :) I've done pictures...but NOT the pictures they were wanting me to take. You know...the REAL pictures that truly show your body....you know which ones...the sports bra/shorts ones...the ones they start with on Biggest Loser...YA...those pictures!!!


Well...I got the camera and had Ryan take the pictures...DON'T WORRY...I am NOT posting them on here...they will only make you nauseous and grossed out. :( 
SO here I have these pictures...which are on the camera and going to be on the computer...so that I HAVE them...they are SICK. :( I can't believe how I've let myself go...YUCK...such a blow to actually see...

Then before I got in the shower...I figured what the heck...I'll just do my measurements while I'm at it...well...those were just as gross. The book that came with this program...has a chart to enter all your starting info...and it shows you where you should actually be measuring for your waist, chest, hips, and so on....
I did it...and the numbers I had to write down are another blow...so gross and unhealthy...YUCK


So here's where my thoughts come...do I take this info and REALITY and become discouraged??? Do I say, WHAT'S the point...and give up because I've already let myself go and get so gross?? Do I get discouraged and QUIT!?!?!

OR.....do I use those GROSS pictures and measurements as MOTIVATION and say and realize...I'm the ONLY one who can change...I am NOT happy with myself right now...I am NOT confident and proud of where I am...I am NOT going to stay like this...I WILL make changes and improve for the better...I WILL do it...I CAN do it...I CAN look better...be skinnier...healthier...and most of all HAPPIER????


I think I'll take the motivating trail...and DO it...I need to for myself...for my self-esteem...for my husband...for my kids...for my health...for my HAPPINESS.


I WILL do it...I WILL change...I WILL improve...


I will...DECIDE...COMMIT...AND SUCCEED :)


....stay tuned for those pictures eventually...MAYBE when I've taken new ones and can prove that I DID do it...

Thoughts...

So the other night was kinda crappy...and let's be honest...I did it to myself!!! I've noticed this weekend that my body is getting used to having LESS sweets or junk!!! Because yesterday was Ryan's birthday...so we went on a date and went to Red Robin...I got my usual Teryaki Chicken Sandwich and fries...I ate the sandwich...which maybe it wasn't the BEST thing to choose...but it tasted yummy ;) But the fries...UGH...they were just TOO MUCH on my gut. I was so full after not very long...Ryan was better and got a salad...but I was so full and ready to be done before he was even half-way through his salad. So!?!?! Maybe my body is getting used to eating less often...less JUNK...and smaller portions!?!?! A good thing right???

Also...we've been trying to figure out a couple options for making more money...so we've talked about a me teaching Zumba and getting a studio!?!?! A friend of mine is teaching in Lindon and said they have a Monday night position open...but I don't know how convenient of a location it is...or how it would work!?!?! I'm nervous about starting up and not having people show up!?!?! I just have a lot of doubts and fears...but Ryan keeps telling me, I'll never know until I try it and see what happens. SO.....any of you know of any karate studios, dance studios, or something like that....that I would be able to rent out in the evening sometime and do a Zumba class!?!?! Who would be interested in coming!?!?! I'd prefer a place that's in Orem/Provo...because then it's closer to the people I've taught before and people who I'm friends with...I don't know. I have too many doubts and I think I just need to GO FOR IT!!!

So I am trying to work on this...trying to figure things out...and hoping results will come SOON!!! I know not as soon as I'd like...and it'll take time...but small changes daily will make them come right!!! Thanks to all who look at this and read it...even if you don't always leave a comment...any advice, support, or help is WONDERFUL!!!

Weak...and don't have will power :(

So tonight...home as a family...watching a movie...I've got LOTS on my mind and what do I do??? Go to the CRAP in the house and eat...and munch...and eat some more...YUCK. I feel awful now...I'm upset with myself for not being stronger...and I'm just bugged. I know this will be a challenge and something I will have to adjust to...but gosh. I guess it's time to go through things and get rid of GARBAGE food??? But honestly I hate doing that because we're dirt poor and throwing away things that are still ok to eat just makes me more bugged?!?! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...what do I do??? What snacks do you guys get that are better for you??? How do you afford to eat healthier??? I just need to go to bed so I stop thinking about it all??? Tomorrow will be FULL of work-outs to help me feel better?!?!

MY goals!!! The SIGNED goal sheet to prove it!!!

Ok...so my trainer friend Eric sent me this GOAL contract...and told me to fill it out. I FINALLY finished it!!! And emailed it to him...posted it on facebook...and am now posting it on here!!! I NEED people to know...I NEED to be accountable...and I NEED to have them written down and where I'll see them!!! So here goes...it was REALLY hard for me to think of goals...weird!?!? I don't know...maybe I was just thinking TOO into it...but I couldn't come up with anything. I wrote to Eric and his wife to ask for help...and they are just SO smart!!! His wife told me to NOT over think it...to just close my eyes and think of where I want to be at those certain times...so I did it!! And it worked!!! 

So this is what it says...and THESE are my goals!!!

Name: Becki Jones

My "WHY": I need ME to be happy, to better improve MY life, MY husband's life, and MY kids' lives!!!  Happy Mommy, Happy family!!!

30 day goal:  Be completely OFF pop
60 day goal:  Complete AND keep going with Slim in 6 (exercise plan)
90 day goal:  RUN a 5K
6 month goal:  Feel excited AND comfortable in my swimsuit at the waterpark with the kids (7-Peaks)
12 Month Goal:  Be in better shape & be healthier to add another baby to our family!!!

And then the contract part and MY signature!! I WILL do this...I WILL accomplish what I want...I know I'll have hard days...I know I'll want to quit...I know it won't ALWAYS be easy...BUT...I know that people who care about me are there to help...I know that I CAN be happier, healthier, and do better!!! I WILL, I CAN, I COMMIT!!!!

So incredibly SORE!!!

Ok...so I woke up this morning to shut off my alarm...rolled out of bed and OUCH...my legs, thighs, butt, back, arms shoulders...EVERYTHING was sore!!! Obviously the workout from Jillian was a killer...and did SOMETHING!!! Probably didn't help that I went a little overboard with everything else too...BUT...it's a good sore!! I'll take this over being hurt or sore from walking up stairs that I should be able to do no problem!!! Needless to say...I laid in bed for a minute to wake up...and ended up falling back asleep :( Boo...so I didn't get up to do the DVD this morning...TOMORROW for sure!!! But I did make it to the rec to speed walk a little after dropping Klous off at school!!! Only 4-5 laps of walking...BUT it was something!!! And I've got Zumba tonight...so WOOHOO!!! Hooray for a fun FUN journey!!!

GREAT workout day!!!

Well it's doing something!!! Kicking my butt is what it's doing!!! This new exercise plan and routine is KICKING MY BUTT!!!
I got up yesterday morning and did a new Jillian Michaels DVD I got at Wal-Mart. I didn't think it would be THAT hard...but boy was I WRONG!!! By the end of only a TWENTY minute workout...my legs were shaking!!! She definitely knows how to work you!!! Even in a short amount of time!!! So I did that...chugged lots of water...and was ready for the day!!! 
Kids got up...and I was gung-ho to get going and do something with them!!! I decided I'd just take them with me to the rec center (Orem Fitness Center) in the mornings...we'd run/walk the track and they could ride in the stroller or join me in walking if there weren't too many people. I've recruited a couple friends who have come along...and it's been fun!! I think at least!!!
Well finally about 9:20 I was ready to GO!!! Kids were dressed...eating a pop-tart for breakfast and ready to go as well!!! We went to the Rec...got the jogging stroller out...and headed into the track!!! Kyson & Aysha rode in the stroller the whole time...and Klous walked the first lap with me and ran the 2nd with me...then he got in the stroller as well!! Yes...5 yr old - 35-40 lbs, 3 yr old - 28 lbs, 2 yr old - 30 lbs AND the jogging stroller all being pushed by ME!!! It was a GREAT work-out!!! I would walk a lap then run a lap...and I was SOOO impressed with myself!!! I did a total of 6 walking laps...and 4 running!!! It felt GREAT!!!
Then we came home...got showered and hung out around home!!! We got some "new to us" couches off KSL so Klous & I moved ALL the furniture from the living room to the family room...and then the couches from the family room to the living room!! I was sweating AGAIN!!! 
GREAT day!! GREAT energy!! GREAT workouts!!! I even had energy and ambition to make a HEALTHY meal!!! Chicken/Carrots/Celery stir fry with bean sprouts over chow mein noodles!!! AWESOME!!!! 
I'm excited for these changes and the energy it'll be giving me!!! YAY!!!

THIS is the DVD I got and did yesterday!!! I highly suggest and would recommend it to others...I've heard GREAT things about it...and I know Jillian knows what she's talking about!!! KICKED MY BUTT!!!

Seriously starting....again :)

Alrighty people...I am serious about this again...and this time I will NOT stop until it's complete. 
I have to do something. I am unhappy...I don't like looking at myself in the mirror...I hate feeling out of breath ALL the time after simple tasks...and I just want/need to make changes. So here goes...I know I started this last year at this time...and I did SOOO good for a while...then summer came and I stopped. This time it won't be like that. I am making a LIFE change now. Not just a temporary change. I was so happy and excited with the progress I was seeing last year...and now I'm right back to where I started. I mean I guess it's good I'm not BIGGER or anything then last year...but I'm definitely not smaller either :(
So with my AMAZING hubby that I have...that will support, help, and do whatever he can to help me....and with a GREAT friend back in Wisconsin, who is also a personal trainer...I have kind of figured out a schedule I'll be doing and tracking my food intake for the last 2 weeks (which has been TERRIBLE)...but I am doing it...and I AM making changes.
So...here's what I'm doing...today I am working on my "Goals Sheet" from Eric...and when I figure it out...I will be posting it here...and I want help and for people to know what my goals are so you can ask how I'm doing...so you can keep me accountable...and keep me going!!! 
I will be posting probably close to daily on here, so that I can track for myself how I'm feeling and what I'm doing...so down the road I can look back and read it all over again and see how far I've gotten!!! 
Here's to a new day, a new week, a new month, a new year, and a NEW BECKI!!!!