Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Struggling...but pushing through...

So I finally had to ask and text Eric this afternoon to ask...Monday wasn't SOOO bad...but yesterday and today I am REALLY struggling...I do great when I wake up...I get up do my workouts...then drink my shake...then I'm good and get through my snack/lunch....and then I start to SLOW DOWN....I start dragging...I'm on edge...I'm ornery...I'm grumpy...and I just want to lay down and do nothing!!!
Obviously I CAN'T...I'm a mom...a wife...and I have things I need to take care of...so I push through it and try to smile!!! :) But I asked Eric today WHY...WHY does 4:00 hit and I feel DEAD!?!?! I feel like I hit a wall, and I am just struggling. I'm whiny...I'm grumpy...I'm hungry...I'm just struggling...
His answers were obvious and informative!!! First off...I'm only eating 1180-1200 calories a day with this 6-day express diet...so my calories are REALLY low...and by that time of day I've burned off more then that...(which is also a good thing, because then it kicks my metabolism into gear!!!)...but also he asked if that time of day is when I would eat crap and snack...which guess what...it WAS/IS...it's the end of naptime...it's the end of the afternoon...the end of the day when I'm trying to figure out what to do for dinner...and with each look in the fridge, walk through the kitchen, or whatever...I would grab SOMETHING and eat it. NOT good things...NOT good snacks...so......I'm also overcoming a "food/eating addiction" for that time of day...
Yay me...so besides struggling, being hungry, and worn out...I get to overcome these other obstacles!!! Which they'd have to be overcome eventually...or I won't change...but for all of this to hit me at the same time in one week...it's been a challenge. 
I'm tired...I wanna quit...I wanna eat what I want...I wanna give up...I wanna not figure out how to make fish/chicken & cabbage exciting for dinner...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....it's hard. I won't lie...
I will NOT quit...I will NOT give up...I will NOT give in...BUT I will be honest and tell each and every one of you...this is NOT easy for me. Thank goodness it's only 6 days...but the things I'm learning about myself in just these 3 days so far....they kinda make me sick!!! I've really formed some BAD habits, and I'm SO SO grateful for the step I've taken to change and IMPROVE...
I've DECIDED...I've COMMITTED...and I WILL SUCCEED :)

2 comments:

Party of Five said...

Good for you Becki! i am so proud of you. It is hard, but I know you can do it! I can't wait to see pictures of the new you! You will look amazing!

AnnaMarie said...

Yes you will! I can't wait to see your success!