Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Addictions...BAD habits...and thoughts...

Ok I haven't posted in a couple days now...so here I am!!! Still here...still trying to work at this...still pushing through!!! Over the last week and a half...I've had LOTS of thoughts about my life...my habits...my traditions...my addictions...and how CRAZY it is that I didn't feel or realize any of it...or how BAD it really was until now. 
I used to ALWAYS want pop...I'd go through phases where I'd go buy 4, 8, or more 12-packs a week because they were on sale...JUST to "stock up"...and then we'd CONSTANTLY have the fridge full and ready for us or whoever else came over and got thirsty!!! I would look at people who had "been off it" for months or years and think...whatever...it's not that bad. I remember my parents having a "WALL" of pop...Mt. Dew...Diet Pepsi...Cherry Pepsi...whatever we wanted and was on sale. As teenagers it was just there and we could have it whenever....there really was no asking for it that I remember...just drinking it at our leisure!!! I would go in spurts and drink a LOT fairly often...then I'd lighten up a bit and not drink it...but NEVER have I completely been OFF of pop. WHY!?!?! Why do it??? It's not THAT bad right?? It tastes good RIGHT??? Then you see the youtube videos about what it does to you...the Dr's talking about the negatives of it...the PILES of fat, sugar, and whatever else on Biggest Loser of what it looks like in pounds. SO SICK...well I've decided to STOP. I don't need it. I don't need that sugar...I don't need the pounds it's putting on ME...I don't need the dehydration that comes from it. I NEED water...and I will NOT drink it...I will choose water instead!!! Time to BREAK that bad habit...
Now onto sugars and sweets and chocolate...this is a HARD one as well. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my sweets!!! I can do it or...learn to do it...in moderation. I have to. I will NOT say that I'm completely DONE with it for life, because that's not realistic to me...and I know I would be setting myself up completely to fail. I have a hard time with people who tell me I just don't need it, it's not ok, or just be DONE with it. REALLY!?!?! Do these people REALLY never eat sugar?? Never eat a chocolate treat!?!?! Never have treats or M&M's in their house or anything!?!?! Are there REALLY people out there like that?? Obviously I know there is...but I'm pretty sure there are more that DON'T do that...than do!?!?! I have been dang good I think this last 10 days at NOT eating all the candy/chocolate/sugar in sight...BUT I have not completely cut it out. I limit it...like today...I had ONE hershey hug...and then I sweat it off at Zumba...I think that's ok!?!?! Others may disagree???
There are SO many things I have learned about myself through this...that I didn't realize were truly BAD habits...the time of day when I would just SIT and SNACK...same time...every day...all week long. NAPTIME...my kids are asleep or having "quiet time"...and I'm "relaxing" for a bit. That's what would start my LAZY time of day...from about 2-5 I would do not much but check out things online...watch some shows...EAT...fall asleep sometimes...EAT some more...and that's it. SO SO SO bad...and over the last while I've had to overcome that time of day...it has NOT been easy. I have found myself still sitting...still being lazy...but I realize it and I have to get up...I go do the dishes...I start some laundry...I sweep the kitchen/dining room. Obviously I can't do an AMAZING workout or anything, because my kids are all asleep usually and so I'm stuck at home...but I can do SOMETHING. So I'm working on that...I have so much energy and gung-ho attitude in the mornings to just go go go...but about 2:00-3:00 rolls around and I'm BEAT. I just want to sit and veg....but I can't...MUST GET OUT OF THAT HABIT...and I'm continuing to work on it!!!
Sorry for this LONG shpeel about my thoughts and bad habits...but I hope that maybe it'll help someone out there look at their lives...their choices...their desire to change...and maybe it'll get just one person to make a small change!?!?!? Maybe??? :)
The last 2 days have been a bit more challenging then last week...cuz last week I had a guideline...I had a strict diet to stick to. Now this week I'm having to be creative and put a LOT of thought into things to make them tasty but only a FEW calories!!! This week I'm at 1500 calories to take in...and then continuing to work out...exercise...work out...and exercise to burn off even MORE then that to actually lose the weight I want. I can tell my body is changing...I can see where I'm getting smaller...I can see and feel the muscles getting more toned and defined...and I LIKE IT!!! :) :) :) :) 
So far so good...week 2 has been treating me GOOD!!! :)

3 comments:

AnnaMarie said...

Good insight, Becki. We grew up really rarely having pop and snacks, so I think if you raise your kids to have that expectation, thy won't struggle with it like you have. And you can relax a little in the afternoon, just do it with a book an a bag of carrots! :) There's always a healthy substitution. I don't keep much junk in the house, just because it does tempt me, but I usually have something like choc chips or leftover holiday candy, just in case. Keep on going, girl!

Mike and Jana Black said...

you hang in there, things get hard sometimes. I'm glad to see that you're being realistic about your goals. never having sugar again sounds a little over the top. I personally have 3 or 4(on really good days)a week that I don't eat junk food or any sweets, but I have to have at least one weekend and monday night of course that I can have a treat. Good idea on the pop, i've heard from lots of people that when they decide to stop drinking it, they feel a lot better. You're doing awesome. keep it up!!

Karla said...

Keep it up Becki! You are doing amazing! One thing I found helpful was a phone app for a calorie counter, each day I just put in each thing I eat, it is sometimes a hassle, but it sure keeps me from eating that handful of crackers, I don't want to add it to my list of food for the day. It also keeps trach of water, weight, and some of them even measurements. I have about 3 of them that I have (free) and some also tell you calories of food from different rest/fast food places. (myfitnesspal, calorieking, caloriecounter) They are all websites but have apps too. I was like you, not thinking I could go without sweets or sugars. I decided to do it for a day, that day turned into 2 1/2 months, and the first day was the hardest. I started it right after halloween, so it was tricky with halloween candy still lingering, then Thanksgiving deserts, and Christmas treats too. But I made it, and then I spent 2 weeks trying to figure out what I was going to eat for desert. Nothing sounded good enough to quit. When I finally decided to eat something, I had a small brownie with ice cream, YUCK, I can still feel how sick I felt with all the sugar! I think the same goes with the pop/soda, just take it a day at a time or each situation. Decide, I am going to have water right now instead of this pop. I LOVE LOVE LOVE diet coke and diet dr. pepper, I am the frequent filler upper at the c-stores with the riduculously large mega big cups! I recently have found that sobe lifewater sometimes is that nice treat, in place of pop, but it is a 0 calorie, 0 sugar alternative with added vitamins too. Whatever it's worth... those are things I am working through too. I have a partially drank soda in the fridge that I have been eyeing all morning. Keep it up, just take one day at a time, or even one situation at a time. Having a candy kiss isn't going to kill you, it may just be enough to satisfy you, and keep you out of the other things. I'm starting a 12 week challenge soon, that will be very strict in diet, but I am just going to take it one day at a time, and sometimes one meal at a time. YOU are a inspiration, you are very real and accountable for things. It empowers me to work a little harder myself on getting more fit. Thanks!!